May 19
Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?
125,413 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 19
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
17,803 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 19
i cybered on omegle today
- You: hi
- Stranger: hey
- You: wanna cyber
- Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
- You: ya
- Stranger: And okay then, you start?
- You: i come into ur bedroom
- You: and ur sleeping
- You: and i crawl under your blanket
- Stranger: I'm still asleep
- You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
- You: and u wake up and smile
- Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
- You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
- You: cutting off your penis
- Stranger: wait
- You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
- Stranger: Then what...?
- You: I HATE YOU
- Stranger: I didn't cheat
- You: you bleed to death in your bed
- Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
- You: nobody ever knows what happened
- You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
- You: the end
- Stranger: I have a mercedes?
- You: not anymore faggot
- Your conversation partner has disconnected.
102,734 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 19
theyre looks so weird without the comma
they,re
Ah yes much better
82,389 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 19
laUGHS AT YOUR PAIN REESE
my hands slipped
it’s transparent btw…
and we almost forgot his butt
I’M SCREAMING
61,618 notes | Reblogged: (via)
May 19
someone come do cute stuff with me like fuck me so hard i cant walk
56,795 notes | Reblogged: (via)
